Monday Night PVP: Rough Night

The PVP itself actually went pretty well tonight: it was resto druid/ret paladin night, and we played 18 matches going 9-9.  We started around 1500 rating and climbed up to 1650, which I feel good about.  The very first match was a seemingly endless one against a holy paladin/I don’t even remember team, and we had two more very long matches which both ended in losses: one against a disc priest/aff lock team that ended when I got mana burned to death, and another against a resto shaman/frost DK team that ended when the DK’s burst all lined up and he killed me through my available healing.

But the rough part was my attitude and my partner’s.  Criceto (my ret) got fed up and called it early.  Long matches are draining, I know, and nobody ever shows up to make a never-ending stalemate uneven like they do in a battleground.  Thus, occasionally, 2v2 is just a never-ending slugfest and awful as a result.  I get that, but it still sucked seeing it get the better of a friend.

I threw a straight-up temper tantrum a short while after we stopped playing.  It was unrelated (directly) to the game, but it was a temper tantrum, and I’m writing this blog to talk about my bad behaviors.  So here goes.

I was mad at myself for some big errors I made during arena matches, and then mad at myself for getting mad at myself and raising my voice.  And it just spiraled out of control, ending with my spraining my hand angry-punching an inanimate object like a freaking five-year-old.

I stayed pretty upbeat during the games, re-queuing and talking about what we could have done better, what my mistakes were, etc.  But apparently it boiled over afterwards, and I just don’t know what I need to do to further distance myself.  Because it’s a fucking game, and I act like a spoiled child over it sometimes.

I don’t really have a solution.  In the abstract, I’m happy about how tonight went in the game.  I’m furious with myself for acting the way I did afterwards, and everyone in the house with me at the time had to hear me carrying on, both before I hurt my hand and (more whinily) after.  There’s no excuse for it.

So that was tonight.  Frustration won.  We’ll see what I do tomorrow.

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